We found out that Kyle was going to be leaving again June of this year at our annual Marine Corp family day. I guess that I was surprised that they would announce such information at this sort of event .... being that children are there and in my own opinion, I would have rather explained it all to our 4 year old myself. It was heart breaking to hear that news, I tried to hold my tears back but, just 1 month prior to this Kyle had finally asked me to marry him. I thought that moment would never creep up on me since it was already 6 years we'd been together!!:) Anyways, we had been planning a wedding for October of this year and we get this news, I felt that everything that had been built and secured since 2004 (when he came home the first timewas crashing down. Our wedding had to be completly recreated and finished in 6 weeks!!
From that day forth, time just flew by. We had a beautiful wedding and we've again built memories that we'll have close for the next year + of our lives.
Just this past Monday, we said goodbye. It was awful to pull those feelings back out of myself after I've buried them for so long. I never wanted to have to say goodbye to him again. Who does'? It broke my heart watching our 4 year old hug and kiss her father goodbye. This time around is really affecting her. There has been so many nights at dinner and before bed that she will say " Mommy it's to quite in here when dad's not home" and the list goes on .
Today is only day two that we've been away from eachother.
My heart aches, really it hurts to feel this way. I long already for his arms to wrap me up. I miss his smell and all the awful things he did that used to drive me crazy. He is my best friend and my world feels so empty without him here with me everyday. My count down is on !! 96 days until block leave!!
I'll start fresh next blog....
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